Spankfurt

Bio
Known for being one of the angriest players to play this game, Spankfurt is literally acid. He will melt your team until it is nothing more than a puddle. He can play a maximum of three heroes and isn't even great at those three. (Obviously mets wrote this)

Once known as England’s Brave John Terry, Spankfurt has descended upon a dark road. Too many late night brews have begun to add up and show their effect on the stalwart defender’s banjoball game. Slowly, he became more and more susceptible to fits of rage – not the usual John Terry motivational rage – but nonsensical hatred aimed at the tiniest of errors. These booze driven rants became worse and worse. Then, sometime in 2014, Spankfurt fell victim to a tragic accident at a Halifax chemical processing plant, which morphed 99 percent of his body into wax. The results were devastating – Spankfurt was cursed to slowly melt every single banjoball game, the rate of melting determined by the heat of the day. Slowly, he would lose all ability on the field. Unfortunately for his teammates, the 1 percent of his body not affected by the accident was his mouth, and he would continue to yell at everything that moved on the field, seemingly unaware of his own incapacitation. Prior to the accident, Spankfurt was an excellent defender, but don’t ask this man to score a goal. So focused on keeping attackers away from his own net, he is unable to find the net himself.

Past Clans

 * GoTE
 * GG